Closing a show always brings about a complex array of feelings and today seems to be the most complicated. I realized last night that this was the fortieth solo exhibition of my career. FORTY. I’m 45 years old. To anyone not in the art business, that’s a lot of fucking shows. Probably too many. But I’ve done it. And I’m tired. Like, beyond any explanation tired. My body, brain and heart need to rest for a while. So I’m giving them what they need for once.
I’m taking all of 2023 off. A true blue sabbatical after an entire adult life of never even taking weekends off. I rarely even took days off. I’m sure I’ll still draw, but with no end goal in mind for once. The thing is, it took me my entire life to realize that there is much more to me than cranking out a bunch of art. And I finally get to meet this other person. The ME not tied to what I do. I’m most excited about the colossal amount of reading and research I’ll get to wallow in. And the walks. The yarn. The writing. The quiet. The no planning. The walks. The cooking. The sleeping. The movies. The letter writing. The learning god-knows-what. The walks. The staring out windows. The sitting still. The no-social-media. The note taking. The no expectations. The naps. The dreams. The reflection and again, the walks.
I proclaimed that I wanted to be an artist to my family when I was 5 years old and everything in me was geared towards this ever since. That’s both kind of awesome and also a little sad. I love what I do more than words could possibly render. I really really do. And honestly, I couldn’t stop being this, DOING this if I tried. But sometimes being an artist feels a bit like I’m in an abusive relationship with myself. I gotta figure this out. Or maybe I don’t?
So today is the final day of “HELL and the Paradisal” at Inman Gallery and I thank every last one of you who attended the show, bought the work, and/or reached out to express what you felt about it. And to Kerry…I love you very much. Working with you again has been one of the best things that’s every happened to me.
Ok, that’s it outta me for a while. Thanks for reading! XOXO
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